Let Me Drink Her Away..

It was terrible.

Sitting here, looking into my drink, the thoughts ran through my head. How could I have been so naive? How could I have not noticed sooner? How could I not know!?
The electric blue color started to numb my sense of sight as I stared for too long, one hand locked in my hair, messing one side up while the other still looked completely untouched. My shirt was stained with grime from the air conditioning unit that I had worked on earlier that day and my tool belt still hung on my waist.

I haven't been home at all since it happened.

How could I not know that I had fallen in love with her?

Sitting here, looking back at the day; watching her laugh, her smile so brightly...

It makes my heart stop.

Her happiness had given me a warm floating feeling.

But this was wrong.
ALL WRONG.

I couldn't love her. There was no way the two of us could be together. Not ever. Both sides of families would be completely against it. Why was it her?
Why did it have to be her!!?
Why was she from THAT family? Why did it have to be that last name? Why couldn't she be from here? Why couldn't she be from my side of the world? Why did she have to be from the opposing family?

Why did she have to be that far away, yet so close at the same time?

Why did we have to fight?

I downed my drink fast and hard. I lifted my hand and raised the glass, signaling that I was ready for the next. My mind was still full of nothing but her and all the things I had said today.
And how true it all was... is.

Someone please, take my heart away from me.
I am not allowed to feel these things.

I cannot be allowed to love this girl.

And I will drink until I can't see. Until I can't think. Until my heart stops beating so fast. Until... when I think of her face, my gut won't flutter in such a way.

I will drink until I can no longer love.